I like to think of myself as a good friend. I generally respond to text messages in a prompt manner and I try to make the effort to stay in touch with the friends I care about the most, etc etc, all those basic ‘friend things’. But sometimes, more often than not, I’ve found that it is not about you (and if you’re keeping tabs that you is me, make sense?)
Being a good friend is about being there. It’s about sharing a moment. So let me tell you a story…
On Tuesday I got a text from a friend. It simply said, “come get a beer with me…” I replied back, “will do.” The next message said, “Pub here now.” Being the whitty, humorous, and clever guy that I am, I replied back, “I don’t have a tardis. I’ll be there momentarily.” (a Doctor Who reference some of you will get it) I get to the pub and find my friend. I will not disclose his situation. Let’s just say he had a rough day and needed company. What he needed was someone to be there (already you should be getting how important it is to be there.) When someone, particularly a close friend of mine, is having a serious issue or problem I struggle with knowing what to say – who doesn’t? I knew that if I kept talking, saying things that were relevant that maybe, just maybe, he would find something useful. I will admit that if the circumstances are just right I tend to be a cryer. Certain songs that remind me of my family are always hard to get through without tearing up, for example. “Murder in the City” by The Avett Brothers, “Indian Moon” by State Radio, and “Sister” by Dave Matthews Band (to name a few), a SportsCenter piece about touching story will get the waterworks going. But other situations can lead me to start crying…Like telling a story as to why you will always trust a close friend of yours for the first time… To give you all a bit of clarification part of what my friend was dealing with was the question, “can I still lead others, can I still give people advice that is worth something?” (out of respect I won’t say the other things we discussed). The answer I gave to those questions was a simple story about how I’ve trusted him since the first time I ever met him, how no matter what happened I knew that he would be there watching my back, making sure I was okay. And the reason for that trust was the amount of trust my mom has in him. My mom always wanted to know where I was, what I was doing, who I was with (those sorts of questions never bothered me, btw), when I would tell her that I was gonna be with my friend she knew I would be safe, she knew that there was someone to look after her son. My mom has only met my friend a couple of times but she knew what kind of a person my friend was. While telling this story I began to cry, picture it: me in a bar, crying while having a deep realization of what it means to have some there. It was at that moment, after I told my story, that I knew what kind of person my friend was. He is the kind of person who will be made stronger by the events that have taken place in his life. He is the kind of person who will always be there for his friends with the best advice. Advice that is honest and to the point (unlike this lengthy post).
I learned something about people on Tuesday, April 26, 2011… I learned that when someone asks you to be there for them, there should be no hesitation on your part, NONE. I learned that sharing these kinds of moments are the ones that you will store in your brain and NEVER forget. When these moments do happen it is important that we take the time to recognize and reflect how special they will end up being. These moments have a unique way of changing the parties involved forever.
until next time,
Josh
[…] Being there..the importance of friendship (what a sappy title, huh?) (ithinkthatsfunny.wordpress.com) […]
Everyone wants a life of flash – unforgettable moments but it is the moments that you descibed that make us who we are and why we are. This post makes me know that you really “get” it. This is what life is…moments that make a difference.